Due to a sudden loss of finances Beauty, her father and two sisters have moved to the quaint village of Paddling- in- the-Puddle and they can only afford to buy the local haunted house, Mouldy Manor.
The day they arrive the circus is in town and Beauty rescues a dog from the cruel ringmaster.
The Baron hears that one of his ships might have been saved so he sets off to port, on the way home he gets lost and stumbles across the Beast’s Castle.
Remembering Beauty’s wish of a rose for a gift he picks one of the lovely blossoms from the garden, The Beast is furious and threatens to keep the Baron his prisoner forever.
The Baron pleads with the Beast who agrees to release him on one condition, he should send the first living creature he sees upon his return to live with the Beast.
The Baron agrees thinking it will be the dog who will be the first to greet him but upon his return but he is horrified as Beauty sees him first. The Baron is heartbroken but keeps his word and Beauty goes to live with the Beast.
The Beast is rather spoilt and Beauty doesn’t jump to his every command like his servants do, but gradually they discover they are falling in love.
With a host of other characters weaving their stories into the plot Beauty and the Beast is packed with something for everyone from slapstick fun in the Bathroom scene, the haunted bedroom is filled with spooky fun.
Beauty – Female
The beautiful and intelligent daughter of the Baron, she is kind hearted but not mushy!
Baron Goodfellow – male
He is a kind if rather bumbling character who tends to indulge his other daughters making them rather spoilt.
Cascara and Senna – male but can be female
Beauty’s two sisters they are very greedy and vain, but not nasty and spiteful as Cinderella’s sisters, they are more buffoons.
Charles the Valet – male
He works for the Baron and is a gentleman’s gentleman but has a wandering eye for the ladies.
Silly Sally the dairymaid – female
She works up at mouldy manor and catches the eye of Charles the valet
Molly Mildew -female
The local cook and the other lady that catches the eye of Charles the valet!
Mr Mildew- male
A country bumpkin, he is the village idiot, sewer cleaner and local MP
Spike the Obnoxious boy – male
A lovely part for one of the younger group members. He is as his name suggests!
Sister Concepta – female
A lost nun whose sisters have run away because they can’t stand her singing songs from the sound of music anymore!
Lucky the Wonderdog – male or female
Rescued by beauty from the circus lucky lives with Beauty and the Baron
Beast – male
A hard short tempered character resentful of being turned into a beast
Professor Poppit – male
The Beast sent form him in order that he could create an antidote to make the Beast human again.
Housekeeper – female
A motherly figure overseeing the running of the Beast’s home
Beast Prince – male or female
For the finale when all is well again
Handsome Prince – Male or female
There is a frog in the toilet and all the servants suggest that someone should kiss it to see if it turns into a Prince……….and it does into every girls nightmare of a prince, a lovely cameo role for a Mr wonderful.
Ringmaster – male or female
A cameo role
Scene 1 The village of Paddling-in-the-Puddle
Scene 2 The Haunted Bedroom
Scene 3 The Beast’s Garden
Scene 4 Inside the Beast’s Castle
Scene 1 Inside Mouldy Manor
Scene 2 Inside the Beast’s Castle
Scene 3 The Bathroom at Mouldy Manor
Scene 4 the Beast’s Garden
Examples of Dialogue
ACT 1 SCENE 1
THE VILLAGE OF PADDLING – IN THE-PUDDLE
OPENING CHORUS OF CIRCUS CHARACTERS
MOLLY MILDEW ENTERS RIGHT WITH A YOLK AND BUCKETS AROUND HER NECK
MOLLY: Porridge, lovely hot porridge!
1st CHORUS: Molly, why can’t you sell burgers like everyone else?
MOLLY: What’s wrong with porridge…..it puts hairs on your chest.
2nd CHORUS: I don’t want a hairy chest. (PROFESSOR POPPET ENTERS RIGHT)
PROFESSOR: Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and Girls come along to my caravan at the circus and sample Professor Poppet’s professionally prescribed potions, pills and medicinal wonders. (HE OPENS HIS CASE AND THE CHORUS LOOK INTERESTED)
1st SERVANT Is that him?
2nd SERVANT I think so.
PROFESSOR: I am on call 24 hours a day to all the crowned heads of Europe any beyond, come along and see for yourself the miraculous transformations I have achieved with my simple and all natural potions. Before he met me (LOCAL POLITICIAN) was a nobody and look at him now!
3rd SERVANT: Go on, give him the message (THEY PUSH 1st SERVANT FORWARD)
1ST SERVANT: Excuse me sir, are you Professor Percival Poppet of poppet’s patient potions and pills?
PROFESSOR: I wouldn’t like to say.
1st SERVANT: No, and I wouldn’t like to say it again either! I have a message for you which could be to your advantage. (HANDS THE PROFESSOR AN ENVELOPE.THE PROFESSOR READS IT)
PROFESSOR: Oh right, come along, we haven’t a moment to loose.
CHORUS: But where are you going I want to buy something to build up my husband
PROFESSOR: Madam I cannot work miracles. As I said I am always on call and an emergency has just arisen (PROFESSOR EXITS RIGHT WITH THE SERVANTS)
RINGMASTER: Roll up, Roll up come to the circus, with all tickets half price with a special donation to a local worthy cause (CHORUS CHEER. NUN STEPS FORWARD)
SISTER: Bless you my child I know lots of worthy causes, I collect for them all you know, allow me to introduce myself I am sister Concepta of the last orders for lost causes. I once collected 24 tonnes of manure for the distressed gardeners.
RINGMASTER: Were they very distressed?
SISTER: They were after I gave them the manure, they only asked for half a dozen flowerpots. (SHE MOVES BACK STAGE SINGNG SONGS FROM THE SOUND OF MUSIC)
RINGMASTER: The circus has magic, mystery, exotic beasts and my own magnificent performing animal , Lucky the wonder dog! (THE DOG DOES NOT ENTER) Lucky the wonder dog (DOG STILL DOESN’T ENTER SO THE RINGMAST EXIT STAGE LEFT AND PULLS ON A HIGE LEAD THE DOG ENTERS RELUCTANTLY. RINGASTER TALKS TO THE DOG) remember what I told you, do it properly or I’ll get the stick. Now Lucky the wonder dog beg! (DOG IGNORES HIM) sit (DOG IGNORES AGAIN) Shake a paw. (DOG DOES NOTHING JUST LOOKS FRIGHTENED) just do as you’re told. Lucky the wonder dog will now jump through the famous ring of fire (DOG SHAKES ITS HEAD THE RINGMASTER RAISES HIS WHIP AND THE DOG COWERS AS THOUGH TERRIFIED)
CROWD: Booooooooo leave the dog alone, poor thing…..etc
2nd CHORUS: That’s not a wonder dog, I’ve seen more life in a hot dog.
MOLLY: Never mind hot dogs, how about porridge 20p a slice!
RINGMASTER: (TO THE DOG) Come on you silly dog, do the tricks or you’re out, you’re no good to me if you won’t perform. (HE RAISES HIS WHIP TO THE DOG AGAIN. BEAUTY, THE BARON AND VALET ENTER RIGHT)
VALET: Perhaps we should carry on Sir…..
BEAUTY: Why are you being so cruel to the poor dog?
RINGMASTER: The dog is disobedient and needs to be taught a lesson, if it won’t perform I’ll send her to the dog’s home. (DOG WHIMPERS)
SISTER: Please, all little creatures are sacred.
RINGMASTER: I can’t afford to feed an animal who won’ work.
BEAUTY: Father stop him please!
VALET: I would advise not getting involved Sir.
BEAUTY: Oh leave it to me, please sir if you don’t want the dog we will look after her won’t we father.
BEAUTY: Thank you Father (SHE HUGS HIM)
RINGMASTER: You can keep the dog, it’s been nothing but trouble, I’ll save a fortune in dog food. (RINGMASTER EXITS LEFT)
VALET: We’ve only been here five minutes and Miss Beauty has already picked up a dog.
SISTER: (TO BEAUTY) May I congratulate you on a fine act of charity. I am Sister Concepta I see you’re a girl from my own heart. Perhaps I could interest you in helping out in some of my causes, the league against nasty teachers, for example very popular at (LOCAL SCHOOL)
BEAUTY Thank you’ll Ill think about. Oh Father the dog will be no trouble I promise.
SALLY: (COMES FORWARD) Oh go on let her keep the dog, it needs a good home!
VALET: I don’t believe we’ve been introduced and the baron never talks to anyone who he hasn’t been introduced to …..buy my name is Charles (EYEING UP SALLY)
SALLY: (TO AUDIENCE) Bit of a charmer isn’t he. I’m Silly Sally the dairymaid, I work up a Mouldy Manor (ALL GASP) you’re right to gasp, ‘tis a fearsome place.
BARON: Did you say Mouldy Manor (ALL GASP AGAIN AND DO SO EVERY TIME MOULDY MANOR IS MENTIONED) That is our new home!
SALLY: Oh dear you poor people. (TO AUDIENCE) will you help me out, you see Mouldy Manor is so horrible it takes your breath away, so whenever you hear anyone say Mouldy Manor will you go (GASP)
SALLY: Well the let’s practice……..Mouldy Manor (ALL GASP) wonderful!
VALET: Tell me dear maiden , do you have lots to do at Mouldy Manor?
SALLY: Well I look after the cows and the sheep, there are seven cows but I don’t know how many sheep coz I fall asleep before I finished counting them!
BARON: Let’s get settled in we’ve travelled a long way.
VALET: I’ll ask that boy to help up sir……boy!
VALET: Yes you young fellow, can you tell me where the Baron might find a cart to take his family to Mouldy Manor? (GASP)
2nd CHORUS: You won’t get anyone to go wIthin ten miles of Mouldy Manor (GASP) well only Sally and she is a bit silly.
3rd CHORUS: People who go there never return.
4th CHORUS: The Whole place is haunted.
SALLY: A cow won’t give milk within four miles of that place, I’ve tried milking all the cows in the field behind but non f the gives a drop of milk
1st CHORUS: But Sally, the farmer only keeps bulls in that field!
4th CHORUS: It’s haunted by ghosts so terrible they frighten each other!
5th CHORUS: there are so many un-dead there you’d think it was a (LOCAL PLACE) Parish Council meeting.
VALET: As bad as that!
BARON: No wonder the price was so low.
SPIKE: The only person with a cart big enough is Mr Mildew and he cant help you because he has a puncture , you see that fork in the road ……well it stuck in his tyre! But I’ll help you for £1 per load.
BARON: Ah well, now
VALET: I would have thought a little squirt like you would have been pleased to help never mind charge £1 per load.
SPIKE: What about 50p then
BARON: Well actually I am in the middle of a financial crisis
BEAUTY: You may as well be honest Father, we’ve lost everything and the only place we could afford to live in was mouldy Manor (GASP)
BARON: But at least we have managed to stay together as a family, that reminds me, where are your two sisters?
VALET: The last time I saw them they were sitting at the quayside sulking! (CASCARA AND SENNA ENTER RIGHT)
CASCARA: (CRYING) Daddy! Daddy, I hate travelling by ferry….it makes me cross!
SENNA: Oh Daddy, I don’t like it here a horrible hairy fisherman has just been very rude to me, he told me to move away from the water’s edge as I was frightening away the fish!
BARON: There, there (BARON COMFORTS THEM)
SENNA: (BLOWS HER NOSE INTO BARON’S SHIRT) Is that’s the kind of person we shall meet now that we are poor I’m not going to like it!
CASCARA: Oh Daddy, why did you have to loose all your money.
VALET: He didn’t loose it, you spent most of it!
SENNA: Who asked our opinion, we cant afford to pay you.
VALET: I am a loyal servant to the baron, I am a gentleman’s gentleman money is not important.
CASCARA: (INDICATING TO AUDIENCE) Look at all these people, what a busy little place, pity about the name ,Paddling –in-the-Puddle, that’s why they’re all drips! I think we ought to introduce ourselves I am cascara.
SENNA: And my name is Senna. Look down there (INDICATING TO AUDIENCE) What a handsome chap. I think he’s winking at me! (WINKS BACK)
CASCARA: Ooh I wouldn’t mind a few rounds of sumo wrestling with him! Men are always whistling at me you know, it’s because I’ve such a lovely figure and to prove it, when I say I’ve got a lovely figure will you whistle like this (SHE WOLF WHISTLES) let’s have a go….I’ve a lovey figure (AUDIENCE WHISTLES) Oh I say tell that man to calm down I nearly had his teeth on stage. Once more I’ve a lovely figure (WHISTLE)
SENNA: Alright you’ve made your point, I’ve been traveling for such a long time I’ve got a pain in my left leg
CASCARA: It’s old age
SENNA: Rubbish, my right leg doesn’t hurt and it’s the same age! But I’m really hungry (LOUD TUMMY RUMBLING NOISES ARE HEARD)
CASCARA: What was that!
SENNA: My Tummy!
CASCARA: It sounded like a thunderstorm
SENNA: But I’m Hungry
CASCARA: Think of something else
SENNA: I Can’t
SALLY: Well this is what we do in the country, when you say you’re hungry everyone will shout rumble rumble and you’ll feel full again.
SENNA: I will?
SALLY: You will
SENNA: I’m Hungry (AUDIENCE SHOUT RUMBLE RUMBLE)
SALLY: Feel better?
SENNA: Not really
SALLY: Try it again.
SENNA: I’m hungry (AUDIENCE SHOUT RUMBLE RUMBLE) It works!
MOLLY: I’ve got some porridge if you’d like a chunk!
SALLY: I wouldn’t if I were you, they go fracking with Molly’s porridge
SENNA: (LUCKY THE DOG JUMPS UP AT SENNA) Ahh a beast a wild beast!
BEAUTY: It’s not a wild beast Senna, it’s Lucky my dog.
CASCARA: Daddy that’s not fair, when I wanted a dog you said no.
BARON: You already had a cat.
CASCARA: What! that mangey pussy wasn’t any fun after we played vets with him!
BEAUTY: You can share Lucky with me if you want to.
CASCARA: No thank you beauty, I want a breed that you can recognise not some mixed up mongrel
SENNA: Perhaps we could train her to race and she could win us some money.
CASCARA: She might race, but she wouldn’t winalot!
MOLLY: i think it used to be a police dog
VALET: It looks nothing like a police dog.
MOLLY: That’s because its in plain clothes!
VALET: (TO MOLLY) I say what a feisty wench you are!
MOLLY: Oh thank you (TO SALLY ) what’s e mean?
SALLY: Dunno, just keep smilin’
BEAUTY: Look, she’s so affectionate (CUDDLES DOG THEN THE DOG LICKS SENNA)
SENNA: Yuk, that settles it I’m off!
CASCARA: Let’s run away with the circus
SPIKE: they could do with a bearded lady!
CASCARA: (TO SENNA) Have you got any gobstoppers left, well give him a big one!
BARON: (MR MILDEW ENTERS RIGHT) well I suppose we should make a move to get settled in to Mouldy Manor (ALL GASP)
MILDEW: Did I ‘ere ‘ee say Mouldy Manor? (ALL GASP)
SENNA: It’s long John Silver ( CASCARA IS STRIKING A POSE)
MILDEW: (TO CASCARA) by gum and you’ve brought your own scarecrow