The whole village is happy because the King and his daughter, the beautiful Princess Crystal, are making a visit to the village.
The Giant wants to add the Princess to his collection of beautiful things so he instructs the Squire to kidnap the Princess during the visit.
The King is distraught at the disappearance of his daughter and Jack vows to find her.
Dame Trott and her family Jack, Billy and Wally, a foundling, who she found outside the dairy in his pram , have fallen on hard times due to the evil Squire Sylvester threatening to foreclose on his loans.
The only option left for them is to sell their beloved cow Daisy.
The Giant wants the cow for himself, as she produces the sweetest milk, so together with the Squire they hatch a plan to trick Jack out of selling her.
Reluctantly Jack takes Daisy to Market but on the way meets a strange man who offers him the chance of six magic beans in return for the cow, Jack accepts and runs home delighted.
Dame Trott is furious she throws the beans out of the dairy window and through the night a giant beanstalk grows.
Jack decides to climb the beanstalk and see where it leads,Billy, Wally, The King and Dame Trott all follow!
Halfway up they encounter a leprechaun called Patty O’ Doors who tells them of the treasure to be found at the Giants castle.
The leprechaun is frightened away by the hideous old hag who has been chasing him for many years, she hypnotises Jack and his gang and leads them to the giants castle.
The Giant is dominated by his Mother who comes to visit, but is looked after by a housekeeper he ‘kidnapped from the village many years before,she has to lead the poor prisoners to the dreaded north tower where they must stay.
They escape from the tower and rescue the Princess, the Giant makes chase after them but Jack cuts the beanstalk down and the Giant meets a suitable
Wally and his Mother are reunited again, Jack and the Princess marry, Daisy comes home and they all live happily ever after.
This is the plot which also includes a riotous school scene and a slapstick wallpapering scene as well as traditional custard pies!
JACK TROTT – Male or female
A brave hero who despite his reputation for being lazy shines through in the end to rescue the Princess.
BILLY TROTT -Male
Jacks comic brother, he follows jack in his efforts to rescue the princess
and sometimes lands them in trouble.
WALLY a foundling -Male
Found outside the dairy, Wally is the other half of the comic duo. in the end he is the long lost son of the Giant’s Housekeeper.
DAME TROTT Male
A Brash yet loveable Pantomime Dame, she rules the dairy with an iron milk churn.
SQUIRE SYLVESTER -Male
A nasty piece of work, a somewhat melodramatic character can be played as a ‘Victorian Squire’ dressed in riding outfit complete with crop.
GRUSUM Squire’s henchman -Male
An evil if rather dense assistant.
She is as good as the squire is evil although she falls foul of one of his
IMP – female
The fairy’s assistant .
A complex character who is very nasty until his Mother arrives and whenever she is on the stage he is rather a ‘Mummy’s Boy’!
DAISY THE COW
A Bovine beauty who must be played with sincerity to enable the audience to believe, a part that needs two people who can move well.
A very pompous person, who is devastated when his daughter is kidnapped, should be played with regal superiority
PRINCESS CRYSTAL -Female
The beautiful Princess and the object of Jack’s desires.
PATTY O’DOORS a leprechaun -Male or Female
A humorous character, encountered halfway up the beanstalk. A nice cameo role!
THE OLD HAG
She is an assistant of the Giant.
A domineering character who makes the giant quiver whenever she is on stage, she hasn’t quite accepted that the Giant has grown up!
Scene 1 Outside Trotts Dairy
Scene 2 The Village School
Scene 3 Inside Trotts Dairy
Scene 4 Outside Trotts Dairy
Scene 1 Halfway up the Beanstalk
Scene 2 The Giants Castle
Scene 3 The Dreaded North Tower
Scene 4 In the Castle
Scene 5 Outside Trotts Dairy
Between each scene is a short piece front of tabs to enable scene changes
EXAMPLE OF DIALOGUE
From off stage the Giant’s voice booms. As he speaks the lights react to his voice.
Giant: Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman, be he alive or be he dead (slowly) I’ll grind his bones to make my bread. Ha, Ha, Ha.
CURTAIN OPENS ON SCENE 1
Outside Trott’s Dairy
Stage right is the dairy with a door. Opening chorus of villagers.
Jack enters right from the dairy.
Jack: Hello everybody! What a wonderful morning this is.
1st Villager: Well, look who’s here!
2nd Villager: Am I seeing things?
3rd Villager: Jack out of bed before mid-day?
1st Villager: You’ve heard of pop idol, we’ll he’s bone idle!!
Jack; You leave me alone, today is a very busy day for me.
2nd Villager: Busy? You? pigs will fly!
3rd Villager: Then the price of bacon will go up! (all laugh)
Jack: I’ve got loads to do because I want the lovely Princess Crystal to see me when I blow her a kiss. (he begins to daydream)
2nd Villager: Look; he’s gone into a daydream!
3rd Villager: Let’s leave him to it. (as they all exit left, Silly Billy enters from the dairy)
Billy: Jack! Jack! Jack! Mum’s going to be furious when she comes home.
Jack: Excuse me, your majesty, I would like to marry your daughter.
King: (laughing) What a cheeky young upstart! At this moment there are eight suitors all desperate for the honour of marrying my daughter, each one a Prince of impeccable breeding. Do you have a pedigree?
Dame: What do you think he is, a greyhound?
King: More of a mongrel if you ask me. (moves away)
Squire: Come on, Grusum, we’ll put a stop to all this merriment Hand me the mirror (Grusum hands over newspaper) No, fool, the magic mirror. not the Daily Mirror! (Grusum hands him the mirror) Princess Crystal. (Princess turns)
Squire: I offer you this gift.
Princess: Why, thank you. What is your name?
Squire: I am the Squire Sylvester, well known local dignitary, Parish Councillor and part-time council tax collector… .just for fun!
Grusum: And I am his friend, Grusum.
Dame: More like his gruesome friend! (exits into dairy)
Princess: (opening the present) It’s a lovely gift, Squire.
Squire: Would Her Highness care to look at her reflection? (lights dim slowly ) Peer inside the golden frame, see how it draws you to it. (she looks inside)
Princess: Yes, it’s quite hypnotic, I can’t seem to look away, the mirror is drawing me into it! No, no, let me go!! blackout during which there is a scream from the Princess and the sound of glass breaking.
When the lights go on the Princess has disappeared and the mirror is broken
Curtain opens on a rowdy class. A small cage with a pupil inside and a sign saying “ Teecher’s pet” on it. Jack, Billy and Wally run in left in school uniform
Billy: Phew, I though we were going to be late.
Wally: I’m tired.
Pupil 1: If you pull my hair again today, Wally, I’m going to tell.
Wally: (behind her back) Ne, ne, ne ,ne, ne!
Pupil 1: That’s not funny. We don’t know why you boys are so silly, do we, girls?
Pupil 2: Boys are just stupid, aren’t they, girls?
Billy: (to audience) We’re not, are we, boys?
Pupil 1:(to audience) Yes they are, isn’t that right, girls?
Pupil 3: Actually, I think it has something to do with the more mature mind of the female!
Dame Trott enters left in a gown and mortarboard
Wally: Mrs. Trott!
Billy: Oh, my legs have turned to jelly.
Audience: Wibble wobble.
Dame: I’m afraid your normal teacher…….
Pupil 4: Our teacher’s not normal! (all laugh)
Dame: Quiet, quiet! Go and stand in the corner and put on the Dunce’s Cap (the pupil stands in the back left corner with the dunce’s cap on) Miss Hump is away because she has a nasty case of mumps.
Billy: Miss Hump’s got the mumps!!
Dame: Where are they, I want to decorate? (Wally, Billy and Jack enter right) Oh, there you are, it takes you long enough to get home from school, I’ve marked all the homework, made a stew and set tomorrow’s exams.
Jack: We bumped into the Squire.
Dame: Don’t you ever listen to me, I’ve told you not to speak to strange men, and he’s the strangest man I know.
Jack: But we’ve some news…. the Squire said….
Dame: I don’t want to know what he said, he talks a lot of hot air and bad breath. Now Jack, go and feed Daisy.
Dame: Don’t try and wriggle out of it.
Jack: I’m not, Mum, this is very important…
Dame: Not as important as decorating, now off you go and feed Daisy (Jack exits right) Let’s get organised. Wally, you paste the paper, pass it to Billy, and Billy you pass it to me and I stick it on the wall.
Wally: So I paste the paper and pass it to Billy.
Billy: And I paste the wall.
Jack: Mum, Mum! I’ve sold Daisy.
Dame: Well done, Jack, how much did you get?
Jack :I sold Daisy for six magic beans!
Dame: What! Did I hear correctly?
Jack: I sold Daisy for six Magic Beans. Dame: That’s what I thought you said, Jack. How could you? Magic beans! How are we going to pay our debts with magic beans? We’ll be thrown out, homeless. (she runs into the dairy. Wally and Billy enter left. Jack is very glum)
Wally: What’s the matter with you, Jack?
Jack: I’ve just sold Daisy and I thought Mum would be pleased, instead she’s really cross with me.
Jack, there’s a triffid in the garden! Oh I’ve a tickle on my chest.
Audience: (Cough cough)
Wally, Billy and Jack enter from the dairy
Billy: OOOOH, my legs have turned to jelly.
Audience: Wibble Wobble.
There is a toadstool centre stage. At the end of the song Patty O’Doors, a small Irish Leprechaun, enters right singing.
Patty: The top o’ the morning to you all.
Gnomes: And to you, Patty.
Patty: And do you have anything to tell me today? (He sits on the Toadstool) Any news that a cunning old Leprechaun like me should know about?
Gnome 1: There are some people climbing the beanstalk .
Patty: Now don’t be silly, who’d be wanting to climb me beanstalk, for I’ve got nothing.
Gnome 2: Except your crock of gold! (all gnomes react)
Patty: Ah! Me gold, me gold! They’re coming to steal me gold!! (he is upset) Well to be sure and wash me Granny, I must hide me little trinkets before the prying eyes of these intruders reach here.
Housekeeper: All right, all right, I’m coming, but if you’re selling anything I don’t want it.Why, Squire Sylvester, how nice to see you.
Squire: (entering right) You’re looking well, Mrs. Hipkins, as bonny as ever.
Housekeeper: (coy) Oh, you are a tease.
Squire: But I mean it, every word. Why don’t you finish working for the miserable Giant and come to work for me at Grabham Hall?
Housekeeper: Oh, squire, you’re not proposing, are you?
Giant: What’s on the menu tonight?
Housekeeper: Your favourite, Shepherds Pie…made with real Welsh shepherds! Then it’s followed with policeman’s casserole.
Squire: What’s policeman’s casserole?
Housekeeper: Irish Stew…… Irish Stew in the name of the law (laughs) Then that’s followed by apple pies.
Giant: Mr. Kipling? .
Housekeeper: Of course. (exits left)